NOVEMBER 2025

I wanna start being more creative in my free time and I think a blog format like this is one of the coolest formats because it can be a journal. but also I can talk about basketball or whatever stuff Im in to. I think I am gonna start by reviewing some of my favorite books . I really just like writing and feel performative when I post on the gram. I know that this prolly seems a whole lot more performative than a casual photo dump but the headspace I create this in is very different then when I am gonna post it next to all the other people’s shit.Now it feels like hey you came to me. Plus the only feedback will be authentic interaction where someone reaches out to talk about what I’m posting so it forces real connections. If I get really good about it I will be able to command search my thoughts on so many topics. At the end of the day I guess I gotta do middle-aged woman in 2008 shit to get my thoughts straight. Format wise I think I want it to feel like a magazine I will separate content by months and within that month It will be in the order that I wrote it in. I will bounce topic whenever. I will write about the same thing twice in different parts of that month’s “issue”. Just flip through till you see a headline that you like. I understand most things I write won’t be new ideas so if I sound corny It’s cuz it is a new idea to me.

I am big on hippie dippie books that might not actually be saying anything but they make my brain feel strong. This month I listened to Pete Holmes book “Comedy, Sex, God” and am still reading “The Power of Now”. They actually have a lot of similar concepts Pete talks a lot about Joseph Campbell and Ram Dass who I have been meaning to check out and definitely will now. The ideas were similar to power of now . They both talk about the idea that there is a you separate from your thoughts and personality which is something I did not understand but the more I am reading about it there is a lot of these concepts and ways of observing your thoughts that I remember feeling and understanding as a kid. I think there are a lot of natural thinking patterns that we lose from childhood that we should reconsider. I think that is why sometimes people with kids can feel more tranquil. I think they are forced to consider what aspects of their Childs thinking could benefit them as well. another thing that I am realizing from power of now is how much pride we as people can take in wasted thoughts that will lead to no action or change. I think we are all assuming that analyzing things is giving us some advantage so we judge everything.

Michael Scott Syndrome is one of my greatest fears. This disease affects almost entirely men. I am especially susceptible as someone who tries to bring humor to most social situations. Unfortunately most of these behaviors I find to be completely obnoxious I can also remember doing them myself within the last year. I believe at the core of what someone with this disorder is doing is bullying under the guides of being a quirky fun person. It is like if Nelson the bully from the Simpsons was a theatre kid. The combination of mean spirited and attention seeking behaviors can be observed in many different ways. If a Michael Scott finds out that you have not seen a movie that they enjoy they will seize the opportunity to playfully suggest that your experience on earth is more like being a prisoner in Plato’s cave because you haven’t seen Anchorman 2 yet. They think the intent of being funny is the same as being funny. Someone suffering from Michael Scott Syndrome has never walked past a silly hat in a store with their friends. They must try it on and you are required to react. If you don’t laugh you simply must not understand what funny is. because see “I don’t wear sun hats but right now I am.” If someone else does something funny they will repeat the punchline or try to beat them to it. They use the phrase “I like how….” and then what made the original joke funny. When someone excels and receives attention they will quickly talk about their uncanny ability to appreciate that type of thing. If you say his wife is a great cook he will likely say “Well I love to eat and rub their belly.” When someone fulfills a dream they say “I always knew you were exceptional.” These subtle things swaps a “good job” for an ‘I told you so” . If something is loved by others it needs to be part of who they are. They are obsessed with creating a box of positives for others to associate them with. They are equally obsessed with making sure others are perceived the way they perceive them. They can be pretty blatantly insulting and play it off as a joke. In a meeting with your boss they will say “You know Dave always being sloppy” This is basically just a way for someone with Michael Scott Syndrome to try to spread weird anti-Dave propaganda because he saw him roll up his sleeves and have buffalo wings for lunch. But because he said it with a funny tone and big smile Dave just has to allow him to call him sloppy in front of his boss. The newest play in the book for those battling Michael Scott Syndrome is to diagnose someone with autism anytime they do things not for the social rewards. Like naw man I just like sudoku and movies with multiple sequels I know you can’t imagine letting something else but you get that attention. Think of all the behaviors that people casually call autistic. They all are just someone doing something for its own sake, Michael could never.

LJ Sullivan is a good friend of mine and talented comedian. We are in a instagram group chat with Tyson Gusman who is both of those things as well. Both these dudes are pretty philosophical LJ has a lot of insights into eastern philosophies and Tyson is a christian with a degree in Philosophy and Youth Ministry. This crew is my favorite to go to for a balanced intellectual discussion. They are ready to get conceptual 24/7. This post is going to be all messages that LJ and I sent responding to this very stand up bit about therapy that Tyson sent. Most the conversation happened around 10 AM on a Wednesday when I’m sure Tyson was being a responsible adult so It’s just LJ and I. This is the bit:

I have seen therapy be harmful to peoples relationships and heard this Idea expressed by other people as well. Considering this is the job I am pursuing I wanted to figure out what causes this and have the discussion with LJ. This Is that Convo. (Law and Order DUN DUN)

LJ Replying to the real: Real as hell honestly

ME: I think about how as a therapist I will avoid this a lot. I think when you're paying $2 a minute (That would be really cheap therapy) You are not willing to spend time discussing the joy and purpose others bring to your life. Week after week of viewing your relationships through the lens of how they "disrupt your happiness" . I think most therapist train with a people pleaser who has allowed others to mistreat them till they fell in a deep self esteem hole in mind. I think in the last ten years culturally and as the price has gone up people are walking in to therapy more and more with an attitude that "I am here because I am someone who takes care of themselves." They are not seeking help they are confirming an identity to their ego.

LJ: Yeah the self help/self development culture birthed in the 90s lead to this pop psych phenomenon currently. For an extreme refutation of this mentality see films/books like fight club “self improvement…that’s masturbation.” “Maybe self-improvement isn’t the answer, maybe self destruction is the answer” “I say never be complete. I say stop being perfect. Let’s evolve, let the chips fall where they may” “May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect” The manosphere obsession over stoicism, It’s all a counter weight culturally to this therapy speak I’m better than you cause “I do the work” type bullshit. Which in many ways is a manifestation of toxic femininity but that is a phrase our culture simply will not accept even though by the laws of Yin-yang… anywayz I’m pretty heartened by the fact our boy Jack ( next gen therapist) is giving this some credence and thought not just recycling norms. To be clear the fight club quotes can be interpreted in a few lenses in this case I’m using a Buddhist perspective to say yes the death of the self ie the ego Is really the first step to the kind of progress people seek when going to therapy. That’s why the removal of the shaman and spirituality in the modern conception of psychology is in my opinion a mistake. Too much neuroscience not enough spirit.

ME: Ya I think a lot of modern therapy lacks in the spirituality so rather than learning to build connection to the environment and others they reframe their identity to the current challenge of their lives this leads to a dog chasing it's tail situation. I want to have a practice where we don't adapt to our challenges we become them. We sit with the fear they bring until it becomes a deep understanding rather than acknowledge the fear to work around it. We don't change our perspective we feel the momentum of shifting into the love centered aspects of reality.

LJ:Yo honestly the idea of like cultivating momentum, that shit is powerful it’s helped me a lot and that was a spiritual understanding I came to not an intellectual one ie I got that from internal exploration not handed to me by someone with “authority” Focusing on developing momentum in the direction you’d like to go rather than structurally trying to change who you are I think that reframing could be deeply impactful for many people. End result is the same a more healthy relationship to the world around you but I think less pitfalls, potholes, and bumps in the road, with this different framing Less dog chasing its tail energy is good. Which if you know dog psychology usually a manifestation of anxiety so rather apropos metaphor lol

ME: Ya most people are very familiar with momentum in a sports context and lately I've been conceptualizing my therapy session on every other Tuesday night as a halftime it is an opportunity to double down on positive momentum or reverse negative momentum and Wednesday mornings are the second half kick off.

LJ: Bruh you’d change dudes lives with that perspective alone lol Sports metaphor? I’m in. Said Chad

ME: I'm gonna practice out of a private booth at Buffalo Wild Wings

LJ; Bruh that’s a culture shift right there! you mean to tell me I can do therapy with out ego driven goals and it can be done with lemon pepper wings while I watch the Raiders game

ME: I will say in a society where very little is shared spiritually some of the self affirmation reconceptualizing of your identity can be a necessary band-aid to stop the bleeding of negative thought patterns and after successfully changing their self perception a few times a disciplined client may awaken to the infinite possibilities of living in the present.

LJ: That’s the thing we are such a Band aid culture it’s made band aid look bad lol cause we don’t have preventative measures or anything to follow up the band aid with But band aids exist for a reason and can be very very helpful. That’s how I think of meds too often it’s to give you enough breathing room to break a cycle and then you should be able to ween yourself off said meds not true for every condition or patient but again people see it as a band aid and decide their blood isn’t actively staining anything so they can keep moving and then the prescription dose goes up instead of down….

Bandaging the wound only leads to infection if you don’t clean it well also

ME: That's why the understanding that it is ok to use therapy to double down on the positive momentum is huge. I used to find myself in therapy looking for a wound to treat. Which can lead to a psychological hypochondria.

P.S. When I asked LJ if I could post this Convo he was only worried he may get blowback on the “toxic femininity” part so if you do have a critique you should go to his next stand up show and shout it during his performance.